dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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