You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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