i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
