I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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