He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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