Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
