how do flat chested girls get laid?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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