break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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