Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
