There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
