just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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