I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Randomize