it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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