At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Text me some of your sweat
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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