i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
