toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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