I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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