My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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