Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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