laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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