hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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