You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
not ubering you a puppy
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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