Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
