He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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