better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
