You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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