So drunk its hurt
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
