just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
