The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
