I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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