I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
