I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
