I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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