I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
