I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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