I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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