Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
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It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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