And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
