Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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