I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize