Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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