It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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