He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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