I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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