fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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