If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
