im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
