so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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