I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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