So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
