So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
