i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
