this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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