Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
