It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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