I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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